It is 2:33 a.m., I have been awake for awhile, I opened my Bible to Proverbs and then to Psalms. In Proverbs I read a couple pages of teachings filled with wisdom. One of the scriptures reads “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is. Than a fatted calf with hatred.” – Proverbs 15:17 It is actually the very first verse that I was led to this early morning hour.
The Lord knows my heart, how I feel, as He too feels my pain and my joy. He knows what is in my heart and my true nature which is to innately love others. When I opened my Bible a few moments ago, this is the page which laid before me, and my eyes were drawn to this scripture. With it there is great wisdom and it serves as a guide providing knowledge in how we should be loving and seek others to enter our lives who treat us lovingly.
We must become who we seek in our lives. I am a better person than who I have become. Bitterness and upset does not become me. Those who truly know me… ‘truly know me’… know a person is very caring, deeply loving, extremely honest, exceedingly giving and very earnest in all his efforts. I seek to live a better life than what I have now. I have a very giving heart and nearly always easily forgive.
It is so hard to let go of hurt when we truly love without abandon, especially when we love completely without restraint giving of our whole selves and our soul. It is like we have traded our soul for nothing! And in the realization of receiving nothing more back than a bad check, our spirit becomes broken and we experience despair and all other unattractive emotions.
It is appropriate for awhile to feel and to express our hurt, because in our life, things really are not okay. There is no reason to pretend or not be transparent in the expression of our feelings.
My greatest strength is dedication, to never give up living a life of true perseverance. In my work, I negotiate and build bridges and rebuild bridges and in some cases constantly throw out lines to keep everyone together. When most give up, I always press forward with real belief that nothing is hopeless.
I am an eternal optimist and do not understand people who are unwilling to build bridges, I think they are fools! They only fool themselves into believing a false reality leading them into a quagmire of later regret. Of course, my friends sometimes feel my optimism leads me to a quagmire, but trust me it is not the same pit; and I would rather live on a higher plane of diligence and be called a fool than to be something less than what God created me to be. The joy is always found in stretching one more mile, reaching a little further than you thought you are capable, and all of the sudden… Eureka! You got it! It sometimes takes additional effort to reach your personal gold mine, it usually isn’t easy, this is the reason why only a few ever find theirs.
“Better a dinner of herbs where love is.” My personal spiritual mission statement is taken from the NLT version of Proverbs 21:21. “Pursue righteousness and unfailing love and you shall receive righteousness, honor and life.” Seeking purity is an admirable desire, none of us will ever achieve it while on this earth, but it is worth seeking! Unfailing love, that is hallmark of how I want to live my life and when I die want to be remembered as always seeking and always giving love and known for how I lived.
I hope for those of you who know me, may sometime break bread at my table of herbs, and in my presence feel my love for you, and when you walk out of my door, to know my heart and my love remains with you.
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